THE NEW MUM

 


 

 

Establishing
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We knew straight away that we wanted Nova to be breastfed, we just didn’t realise how challenging it would be. At the beginning we were so pressured by our mums to give Nova formula that we ended up having to do so on the 3rd day just to settle them down. So forget Nova, we had to settle our mums down Lol. After 5 days of producing colostrum, my breasts started to feel firmer which was a good sign that my milk supply was increasing & changing from colostrum to breast milk. My milk supply started with 50ml for both sides then increased about 30ml each day. Sooner than you know, I had to express pump due to excessive leaking & thus oversupply. Even then we still couldn’t keep up with Nova’s feeding pattern. We learnt that Nova was not digesting breast milk & formula at the same rate. We had to feed her every 1.5hrs with breast milk whereas  it was more so every 3-4hrs with formula. So from this we developed her feeding schedule; from 8am – 11pm (breast milk), from 11pm – 8am (formula). This was to purely squeeze in a little more sleep for us in between feeding times & it really worked well for us. The key is really to sleep when your baby is sleeping otherwise you will struggle to get any rest.  

 

Real or Ridiculous?

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You are not going to believe this, or maybe you already do. Here’s a list of what I was told to do..

1. Pee on my drive way to secure a quick & easy labour (during pregnancy)
2. Not allowed to wear fitted clothing otherwise my baby’s legs will be short (during pregnancy)

3. Wear ear plugs to prevent ringing in ears (postpartum)
4. Not allowed to shower for the first 2 weeks as the cool down afterwards could be associated with a chill (postpartum)
5. Not allowed to tie my hair up (postpartum)
6. Not allowed to eat fish or sashimi (postpartum)
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Ok.. I understand how avoiding contact with cold & wind can affect my health, but peeing on my drive way to secure a quick & easy labour? What in the science? Not showering for the first 2 weeks? Ok, stop forking with me. Do you want me to catch some sort of disease due to poor hygiene or something, what the actual fork. My mother in law was the one who told me I had to do these things, she hates me right haha I did have to lie about doing them all though, just to save myself the drama of why I didn’t. 

 

Going Through
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I found that I was really emotional in the first week of birth. The pressure to be a perfect mother for my child got to me. Everybody was forcing their personal opinions of how to properly raise a child onto me & it was overwhelming. Both Daniel & I are completely aware of our inexperience to this new game & are forever open to suggestions to survive this journey. Though, being pushed to do things that didn’t quite make sense to us (scientifically) was just too much. I could sense myself stepping into anxiety due to feelings of suffocation. I’m sure everybody meant well, but we just needed our own space to function at our own pace. I know some of you may debate this, but we are a different generation to our parents after all which means differences of opinion & a way of doing things.

 

Getting Enough
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Um, what is sleep even? I think it’s fair to say we both underestimated how exhausting taking care of a newborn would be. We were so sleep deprived, it was as if we were stuck in zombie mode. I soon loss track of time/day, everyday just felt like Groundhog Day really. A 3hr sleep was a good sleep, other than that it varied from 0.5hr – 1.5hr sleep in between feeding times. Luckily, Daniel took over night shifts so that way we both had some time to rest.

For all the women who dare to say to me ‘why do you put your husband through that after coming home from work, he should be sleeping in a different room..’. Well, where shall I begin with this. I am modern woman which means that I have given up my work in order to make this work. Just because my work isn’t based in an office away from home it doesn’t mean that I didn’t work. I still struggle sometimes to educate some of my friends on what is involved in being in the creative industry as a blogger so can you imagine me trying to do so with family? LOL It’s just so disappointing being told that “blogging isn’t work” because I know I along with a whole population out there know how difficult it is to work, let alone make it in this industry. I feel that there is a great lack of respect for those who give up their careers to raise a family. I understand utilising that brain all day long in an office or getting through manual labour is tough. But hey.. taking care of a child around the clock is very much full time (unpaid) work & it’s not as easy as ‘just feeding & changing diapers’. It requires a mentally stabled mind & plenty of manual labour LOl. Finally, I was not born back in the days, I am a woman of today & nowadays taking care of a child is a 2 parent commitment thing.

 

How To Approach
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I think we were fairly reasonable with our restriction on visitors during the pre baby vaccine period. It was really easy to inform friends & family members of our generation as everyone was very considerate in terms of giving us space with Nova. However, we were quite hesitant when it came to the elder generation due to their lack of understanding towards kids health. We didn’t want anyone to get offended ofcourse, but risking our newborn’s health was not optional. We were advised by medical practitioners that there were to be strictly no kissing the baby’s face or carrying baby if you had not have the whooping cough vaccine until baby is at 6 weeks as it may trigger their weak immune system. We passed this onto our family & friends, & did have a few visitors that went straight for Nova’s face which raised alarm bells left, right & center for us being new parents haha I guess they just can’t help it, newborns are too adorable.

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