MAINTAINING A HAPPY & HEALTHY
There are so many ways to define success & as I grow older I feel that family is what matters most. For almost a year now I’ve been at such a great place, I’m just so content with life. We moved far away from our parents, but being able to still support them while focusing more on the family that Daniel & I have built/building together just hits happiness differently. It feels as if a new level of success has been opened.
I’ve seen what my parents have gone through & heard stories of others so I’ve always known that it’s tough being good parents. I know people who call themselves parents even when they don’t have the qualifications aka don’t really give a damn about their children. I guess it’s easy right; anyone can get pregnant, give birth & have children. The tough part is the consistency of effort; doing your best to provide for the ones you love without giving up along the way all while remaining a decent human being.
I’ve learnt so much as a daughter, but even more so since becoming a wife & a mother. I personally think being a good role model for yourself is key to raising a happy & healthy family, despite the circumstances. Yes, it starts with “you” & then comes “you + your partner”. It’s not just about being good parents, it’s about being good partners in your relationship too & only with this combination you’ll head towards building a healthier environment for yourself as well as your family. Well, at least that’s our point of view.
Daniel & I have been separated a few times last year.. work wise (gotcha). He was away for interstate work several times, both short & long trips. Of course it’s tough managing 2 kids under the age of 4 alone, but it’s not easy for my husband either. Sure easier, but not easy. We’re both physically & mentally challenged every time a work trip takes place. Though, I gotta admit I do like the challenge. I actually encourage Daniel to take these trips & you have all the right to think that I’m cray cray.. like why would I put us through that kind of struggle. Here’s another thing I’m now much better at, making sacrifices. You always gotta put your mind set on the long-run which usually means that things won’t be easy in the short-run. So getting back to why I encourage Daniel to take these work trips every now & then? Personally, I see it being more of a..
1. Self Reinforcement: Putting myself in a challenging environment to remind myself that I am an independent woman & that I can forking do anything & everything all at once.
2. Relationship Building: Strengthening our relationship so that we don’t take each other for granted.
3. Securing a comfortable future for our family: Invest for our children’s future. Work now, play sooner rather than later.
It’s all fun & games, but we do take our roles as parents to our children as well as partners to each other very seriously. Just all hands on deck, understand the responsibilities & get shh done when it’s go time. I love this about us.
SPENDING QUALITY TIME
You really do love each other more when you’re apart so time is more precious than ever when we’re together. My family spent a lot of time doing recreational activities together during my childhood so I guess I’ve always been a family person, but Daniel not so much because his family was quite dysfunctional & it affected him a lot growing up. However, over the years we’ve both learnt the importance of quality family time, especially now that we have become parents ourselves which is why we try our best to do as much as we can together as a family. Whether it be a quick trip to get milk, a walk around the block or a full day doing recreational activities, “ok, let’s go”.
After we tuck the girls in, Daniel & I would spend an hour or more together before bed; snacking on the sofa, workout session, watch a movie, simply just talk, give each other a massage session or do separate readings with Daniel scratching my back/hair/legs LOL We’re both so busy during the day & then again as a family when work is done so often the only quiet time Daniel & I have together is when the girls are down at night. It’s a comforting & nice end to a long day, I love this routine.
PUTTING OUR
Daniel & I have always been slim so we may look fit on the outside, but only we would know how “fit” we really are on the inside. Trying to keep up with the girls energy level have proved that we were quite unfit & that was a key motivator to get back in shape; for ourselves & our girls. We formed a fitness routine & remained consistent during mid of 2022. The girls were home most of the week & Daniel would usually work 5-6 days a week, but we did not slack off. As soon as the girls fell asleep we would fit in a workout session at night. Some days were tougher than others, but even at 11pm we would still pull out the weights for a workout. So you still think you have no time to exercise? What, are you dead? There’s 24hrs in a day, there’s really no excuses to not fit in a 30min session or less. So fed up with people telling me repetitively that they can’t exercise & that they don’t have time like I do. Should I really share what & how I work around the clock everyday or what. Ain’t no clock gonna tell me I don’t have time, I make time to work on myself & you should too if you want better. So no sweetie. it’s not that you can’t do it, it’s because you don’t want to do it. So zip your lips, fix your shh or quit your shhh! I don’t have time for negativity, I’m a 21st century mum of 2 for crying out loud.
DVIDING & COMBINING
Forget gender stereotypes, that shhh don’t exist in this family. I don’t find Daniel doing the dishes or hanging up the clothes lowers his masculinity, if anything it makes him more of a man to me. I’m certain he too finds it attractive when seeing me mow the lawn or doing handy man work. It’s important that we divide/combine daily chores, it contributes to that thing call “support”. I think this is a healthy habit not just for us being married, but for every couple living together. We’re just trying to keep up with being good role models for our girls which means daddy’s gotta be able to do what mummy can do & vice versa. Let’s face it, your kids will grow up finding partners that may resemble you & or your partner in one way or more so if you don’t want your kid bringing home a potential asshole, you better start working on improving yourself as well as your relationship.
SURVIVED INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL WITH KIDS
Lets just be real, traveling with kids is not ideal. Surprisingly, we survived our recent 2 months overseas trip with the girls & it turned out far better than what we anticipated. Other infants were crying, but our girls were so well behaved on the flight there! It wasn’t even a direct stop to destination as well. We had to transit at Ho Chi Minh for 2hrs before heading to Hanoi, Vietnam. Daniel was pretty much a single dad at that point because I was suffering from a little motion sickness haha The girls were great though. We bought a pad as a back up plan for Nova, but didn’t end up using it at all for any of the flights there. On the way back she did use it for about 40mins though before sleep.
Cultural shock definitely hit the girls, more so for Nova than Luna as she’s far more alert & aware of her surroundings. A big giveaway was when the girls reduced their usual intake (+ increased in liquid intake). Lasted a few days when we landed, but repeated again every time we relocated to a new city. Had everyone in panic mode, but honestly if your kids are still having any intake at all & are properly hydrated then they’re fine. As long as they’re not sick, that’s all that matters. Unfortunately, we did experience a traumatising incident where Luna chocked on jackfruit & almost lost her life. I don’t even want to go in detail again, it was by far the most terrifying moment of our lives. Shortly after, Nova had food poisoning from cooked eggs that was left in our hotel room for a few hours. Luckily, she recovered after 4 days & ate plenty after that. This rollercoaster happened in the first 2 weeks that we were in Vietnam, the remaining 7 weeks were more chilled.
Daniel & I would take turns exploring on our own during the girl’s nap time everyday. We didn’t miss out on anything; street food, restaurants, cafes, shopping, massage & hair salons.. I even fit in work while I was there. We would’ve loved to spend all that time exploring together, but it’s not that easy when you have small children. We were already forming a bad habit with Nova’s increased screen time to keep her seated quietly during our meal times when out so we didn’t wanted to push it any further. Any parent who can enjoy street food in a third world country with small children are blessed because it was a tad of a struggle for us at times, but hey we weren’t complaining. Luckily, Vietnam does amazing with deliveries so we had many things delivered to suit our convenience. When the girls were awake we would either be at the hotel pool, playroom, stroll around on hotel bicycles & went to (many, if not all) play centres/cafes so that they too wouldn’t miss out on anything either. It worked out well.
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